Restless Hearts
by rumwow
Summary: What should I do about this feeling?


**A** izawa rechecked the contents of his back pack to make sure nothing's left behind. When he was satisfied, he took his passport, ticket, and cell phone from the coffee table, and put them inside his jacket's pocket. _Maybe I should call her_ , he thought as he fished out his cell phone. He stared at the screen for awhile and pondered.

At last he put back the phone inside his pocket and got up to leave.

~o0o~

Shiraishi sat at her desk doing nothing but staring at a sealed envelope. She had finished doing her ward rounds and thankfully it was peaceful in the EMS that night. She then picked up her cell phone and turned it on. She browsed through her contact and found his name. Her thumb was hanging in the air above the call button.

After a stretching minute she finally turned her phone back off and put the thick envelope inside her drawer.

~o0o~

Aizawa stared at the bright display of the gift shop and rubbed his right forefinger with his thumb, thinking hard. To buy or not to buy, that was the question. He had wanted to bring her a souvenir, since it would be his first time going back to Japan after 2 years, and it was also Christmas and everything. But he just coudn't find the time to shop. Well, maybe he could, but he kept thinking that maybe it wasn't necessary. Their relationship wasn't something like _that_. If he was to buy her a gift, then he had to buy for the others, too. And that was a bit...

But now that he found a huge gift shop in the airport, he mulled over it over again.

"Excuse me," a middle aged man walked past him, breaking his reverie. The man entered the store and it encouraged Aizawa to follow suit. With one final look at the display, Aizawa took a step into the store.

He looked around the store to look for that thing that he could give to her.

 _Chocolate? Cookies? Chocolate cookies? Naah. T-shirts? Hats? Will she even wear it though? Maple syrup? Ah, crystal ball._

Aizawa could only sigh for the lack of inspiration.

"Can I help you, sir?" A shop assistant came to him offering a help. Aizawa stayed quiet as he turned to stare at a stack of postcards.

"Why don't you check out our Christmas Special Sale, sir? You may find what you're looking for," she continued. Aizawa turned to the employee, "where is it?"

~o0o~

"Shiraishi-sensei," she looked up and found Saejima walked up to her in her street clothes ready to go home. Shiraishi smiled at the flight nurse. "So, you're taking the day off tomorrow, right?"  
Shiraishi's eyes widened before she easily smiled again, " Saejima-san, I've told you, I can't leave EMS on Christmas Eve. It's going to be-"

"And I've told you," Saejima cut her off, "you can count on your juniors now. They're dependable now and you _need_ this vacation, sensei. You haven't taken any leave this year. That's not healthy, you know that."

Shiraishi could only sigh hearing her bestfriend's words.

"Besides," Saejima said slowly, "I heard Shinkai-sensei invited you to a dinner. Why don't you use this chance-"

"Saejima-san," this time Shiraishi who cut off her words, "since when are you this meddling? Fujikawa-sensei sure rubs off on you."

Saejima sighed and said, "I'm just concerned. And It's _time_ , don't you think?"

~o0o~

"Aizawa-sensei," he turned his head to find the source of the voice and found her smiling and waving her hand at him from her seat. He nodded as recognition and walked up to her.

The restaurant was packed, mostly with couples. Christmas decorations fill up the room, a big christmas tree stood near the entrance, and a piano version of cheery Jingle Bell was played in the background. She was seated in the middle of the room, a mistletoe hung on the ceiling above her table. She wore pretty pink short dress, her long hair loose with a pearl pin adorning it.

Her smile was getting wider as he got closer. "It's been awhile. 2 years?" She said after he took a seat in front of her.

"Aa," he curtly answered.

"How was the flight? " She asked cheerfully.

"Let's order first," he said again as he called the waiter.

~o0o~

Shiraishi saw him stood outside the restaurant, both of his hands inside his pocket. He suddenly turned his head towards her direction and smiled when he recognized her. She smiled back and quickened her steps.

"Good evening, Shiraishi-sensei," he politely greeted.

"Good evening, Shinkai-sensei," she greeted back, "why are you here? You should've got inside."

"I was going to after 5 more minutes. I just got here myself, and I thought it would've been nicer if we have entered together, so I waited. But then I realize, it's really cold outside," he chuckled. Shiraishi gave him a big smile as a response.

"But now that you're here, shall we?" Shinkai offered as he opened the door for her.

~o0o~

Aizawa watched her hold the fork firmly and cut her steak with the knife slowly. She put the sliced meat inside her mouth and smiled.

"See? I can do it well, right?" Her words made him smile, too.

"I'm getting better, sensei. And I will keep getting better. So you don't need to worry about me anymore," she added.

"Kanade..," Aizawa put down his fork and stared at her squarely.

"Besides, I think I know now. I was young, I liked playing piano, to be honest I still want to play it. It was my dream, it was my life. Or so I thought. When I found out that I couldn't play the piano again, I thought that, it was just the same as dying. I didn't have any reason to live anymore. So I resented you and Shinkai-sensei," Kanade then stared back at him with guilt look on her eyes, "I am sorry."

"No, it's ok. You have all the rights to resent me," Aizawa replied.

"But I am thankful now. I am grateful that at least I live. As long as I live, I can find another dream, I can do anything, I can love many things. I can start again, right?" she told him proudly.

Aizawa subtly smiled, feeling touched by his former patient's word, "Have you found it, then? Your new dream?"

The younger girl nodded her head.

"What is it?" Aizawa asked.

"It's a secret," Kanade answered playfully. Aizawa smiled again.

~o0o~

"Thank you for finally accepting my dinner invitation, Shiraishi-sensei," Shinkai said as he put down the napkin after finishing his food.

"No, I should thank you. Thank you for coming even though it was last minute notice," Shiraishi smiled guiltily.

Shinkai shook his head. "My pleasure."

Shinkai then pulled something from his coat's inner pocket. A small paper bag. He put it on the table.

"Here," he said, surprising Shiraishi, "a christmas present."

"Ah!" Shiraishi suddenly remembered something that made her rummage her hand bag. She fished out a small box of it.

"I got one for you, too," she told Shinkai, beaming.

"Eeh?! I didn't expect this," he said as he gleefully picked up the box. "Can I open it?" He asked.

"Sure," Shiraishi grinned looking at him opening the box like a child. His expression turned even brighter when he saw his gift.

"A pen!" He showed off to her the slim stainless steel pen, with golden embelishment adorning it. Shiraishi chuckled, "it's a penlight. If you press this button...," she said as she showed him how to turn the light on.

"Wow, a fancy penlight," Shinkai looked so happy with her gift. "Thank you, Shiraishi-sensei. I'm definitely gonna use it everyday for work."

They grinned at each other, "I'm glad you like it," Shiraishi said.

"Of course, I like it," Shinkai grinned even wider, "ah, why don't you open your present?"

Shiraishi sat straighter as she took out the small box inside the paper bag. When she found out that it was a jewelry box, her smile started to fade. She didn't feel like opening it.

"Open it," Shinkai encouraged her still with the brightest smile plasted on his lips.

Slowly Shiraishi opened the box and revealed a set of jewelry consisted of a pair of earrings and a necklace inside it. The jewels were made of white gold with small blue diamond as the center piece. They were simply beautiful.

Shiraishi let out a breath she unconsciously held, "Shinkai-sensei, I... I can't accept this. This... is too much," she said as she closed the box and put it back into the paper bag. Shiraishi then pushed the paper bag to his side of the table.

Shinkai sat back, his eyes stayed at the silver pen he clutched in his hands.

"Why is that?" He asked as he looked up at Shiraishi.

"What?"

"Shiraishi-sensei," Shinkai stared at her intently. "Even though you never responded to my advances all these years, except tonight since you agreed to this dinner, I know that you know my intention. You're an adult and you're smart so you must have figured out that I am attracted to you and I wanna be with you. I may have looked like I was just teasing you, but I am actually serious. And I want to use this once in a lifetime chance to show you that."

"Shiraishi-sensei," he continued as he shoved back the paper bag to her, "This is the token of my feelings for you."

Shiraishi couldn't find a word to say. She should have seen it coming. To be honest she finally agreed to this dinner because she thought that maybe Saejima was right, that it was _time_. But now that the time was really there she didn't know what to do.

"Is it because... you have someone else in your heart?" Shinkai's question caught her off guard. The face of a certain neurosurgeon suddenly flashed on her mind. She tried to shake it away.

"It's not like that, I..." _what?_ She didn't have any other reason, really. She could only muttered "I'm sorry."

~o0o~

It was Shinkai who noticed him first.

"Aizawa?" He looked doubtful. Aizawa, too, couldn't believe his eyes when he spotted them.

"Shinkai-sensei?" said Kanade who later saw them, too.

"Kanade-chan!" Shinkai exclaimed in surprise. Kanade walked closer to them so Aizawa didn't have another choice but to follow suit. "It's been awhile," added Shinkai.

"Yeah, it's been awhile. Two weeks, I believe?" Kanade responded eliciting a chuckle from Shinkai. But none of the exchange was processed by Aizawa's brain. It was the mere fact that she was there, in front of him, after two years, unexpectedly, with none other than Shinkai, that overwhelmed him.

Shiraishi Megumi.

Her hair had reached her shoulder and was let loose neatly without any accessories. She was wearing long thick coat and a thick scarf hung around her neck covering half of her face. Nevertheless, he still could see her eyes. Her clear beautiful eyes that showed surprise when she saw him and something else he didn't know when he walked closer.

"What a surprise," Shinkai started, "Who would have thought that I would find you here, in the heart of Tokyo, on Christmas Eve, Aizawa. When did you come back?"

"This afternoon," Aizawa answered curtly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Aizawa just rolled his eyes at Shinkai's question. It wasn't like anything would be different if he told the curly-haired neurosurgeon about his arrival anyway.

"He didn't tell me, either," Shiraishi suddenly said, made Aizawa turned his attention back to her. They stared at each other and Aizawa wanted to tell her _something_ , to explain the situation, but he wasn't sure that she needed to listen, if she wanted to listen. Afterall, she was there with Shinkai. More than two years had passed, and he hadn't heard anything from their comrades back in Japan. Aizawa thought no news meant good news, but probably he was wrong. Many things could happen in two years.

"Does it mean I'm the only person who knew Aizawa-sensei's coming back for Christmas?" Kanade joined the conversation.

Shinkai cleared his throat and said, "Wah, Kanade-chan, you must be special, then."

Aizawa was going to deny it but Kanade was fast to show Shinkai the gifts he got for her. "He even bought me this," she said gleefully showing her new gloves she directly wore after receiving them.

"Wah," Shinkai laughed nervously as he stole a glance at Shiraishi. Aizawa, too, looked at Shiraishi to inspect her expression, but found nothing. She wasn't looking back at him so he could only see her side profile. In addition, her scarf revealed only so much, and the wind had swept her bangs to cover her eyes. Once again he thought, an explanation was uncalled for.

"Kanade," Aizawa called her, "It's late. Let's go now," he said and then walked away from the group to the direction of the station.

"Ah! Wait for me, sensei!" Kanade gasped out loud. "Shiraishi-sensei, isn't it?" she asked the older woman. Shiraishi, though surprised that Kanade knew her name, nodded her head. While smiling, Kanade said, "Merry Christmas, Shiraishi-sensei. Shinkai-sensei, too."

"Merry Christmas to you, too," Shinkai shouted at her as she ran up to Aizawa. She turned around a moment to wave at the doctor couple before she finally caught up with Aizawa. Shiraishi and Shinkai watched over them until they disappeared into the subway station.

"Shiraishi-sensei," Shinkai called for her attention, Shiraishi turned her head to him. "Are you okay?" He asked gently. Even though Shinkai couldn't see it he knew she was smiling as she said, "Of course." But Shinkai also knew that she was probably lying.

~o0o~

"Thank you for walking me home, Aizawa-sensei," Kanade said after they arrived at her home.

"Aa," Aizawa muttered and started to turn around.

"Sensei," she called out, made Aizawa turned back to her. "As I've told you before, I'm fine now," Kanade stated.

"Aa," Aizawa responded.

"You don't need to worry about me anymore. I will live. I will do my rehab diligently. I will keep getting better. You don't need to call me every week to ask about my condition anymore. You don't have to feel obligated to monitor my development, besides, you're no longer my doctor. I'll be fine," she convinced him.

"Instead, can you call me for another reason? Like, maybe... call me when you miss me," she said shyly, "or when you miss Japan," she added with a nervous laugh.

Hearing the word _miss_ , only one face of a woman that came to mind. Aizawa sighed before he looked staright at Kanade's eyes and said. "I can't."

It took awhile for his words to sink in, and when they did, Kanade's face changed from nervous to hurt. But he couldn't help it. It wasn't Kanade that he missed, each and every minute when he was away.

It had always been Shiraishi Megumi.

~o0o~

Shiraishi dropped herself onto her bed. She hadn't took off her coat, she didn't even turned on the lights. She felt so tired all of the sudden. All these things regarding her feelings for Aizawa finally took a toll on her. The thing was, she had realized what she felt for Aizawa was different from what she felt for any of her comrades since way before. It was just something that naturally grew as they got closer while working together. They unintentionally developed this bond that was exclusive to only the two of them. It was caramaderie, it was friendship, but it was also something else.

Or so she thought.

That was why she supported his decision to leave for Toronto even if it meant they wouldn't see each other for 7 years. She actually believed that their bond was that strong that nothing would change between them no matter how long or how far they were separated.

Besides, they could always contact each other. But then, everytime she was going to call him on the phone, she was afraid that it would bother him instead. He must have been very busy there, trying hard to settle in the foreign place alone, and catch up to the other doctors using foreign language. And all she wanted to know was how he was doing. She would have only been a nuisance. She didn't want to be a nuisance. So she opted to wait. He would call when he was free. Or when he wanted to. Maybe.

But the call never came.

Two years later and she saw him celebrating Christmas Eve with his beautiful former patient, in Tokyo. _Ha!_ She laughed bitterly at her own stupidity. She should've just accepted Shinkai's confession. Maybe after awhile the feeling would grow. It also took awhile with Aizawa. Surely she could learn to like Shinkai.

 _Maybe I should call Shinkai-sensei_ , she thought as she got up from her bed. She took out her phone from her coat pocket and browsed through her contact. Once again, she found his name. Aizawa Kousaku. Shiraishi sighed as she stared at her phone. He might have changed his number, it would probably better to just delete it.

But then again, it wouldn't hurt to check first. She was 70% positive that he had changed his number and 30% hopeful that he hadn't. She braced herself before finally pressing the call button.

She slowly placed her phone near her ear and listened to the beep sound indicating that the phone was active. The sound startled her and nervously she tried to stop the call hurriedly.

" _Shiraishi?_ " she could hear his voice from the other side of the line. She was too slow.

Shiraishi put back her phone on her ear and breathed in, "Yes," she answered.

" _What is it?_ " he asked, which Shiraishi couldn't answer. She bit her lower lip trying hard to find a word to say.

" _Where are you?_ " he asked again instead.

That, she knew the answer, "Home."

" _Where is it?_ "

"What?"

" _Your address. Where is it?_ "

"Why? Are you coming or something?"

Silence.

" _Yes."_

Shiraishi was hyperventilating.

"Why? What about...Kanade-san?"

A sigh from him.

" _Where is it, Shiraishi?_ "

Shiraishi was hesitant, should she tell him or not. What would be the consequences if she told him. After he came, if he indeed came, what would happen. She was worried. But at the end of the day she decided not to care about anything and to just do what she wanted.

She wanted to see him.

She turned on her bed room's lamp and then checked the time on her wristwatch. It was almost midnight and it would probably be inappropriate to receive a guest at such a time.

But she wanted to see him.

"I'll text you my address."

~o0o~

Shiraishi opened her door for Aizawa 40 minutes later. She let him in and made a cup of warm tea for him.

Aizawa looked around her apartment as he entered it, it was the first time for him. He took a seat on the only couch in the room as he waited for Shiraishi.

Shiraishi put the tea on her coffee table and took a seat beside Aizawa. Silence engulfed them. They had used to sit side by side in silence. Both of them only talked when they needed to and enjoyed silence. But that moment, the silence was awkward and suffocating. They were both present, yet it didn't feel like they were in the same space.

"So," Shiraishi started, "How long do you plan to stay?"

"I plan to return to Toronto the day after tomorrow," Aizawa answered.

"I see. Such short stay," Shiraishi commented.

"I only got a week off."

"I see. What do you plan while you're here?"

"Actually, I'm back because it's been awhile since the last time I visited Grandma. Coincidentally they gave me a week off during Christmas holiday so I decided to just spend the holiday here. Besides... I miss... Japan," Aizawa said. Shiraishi stared at him as she listened. "And then.. Kanade invited me to dinner, she said she needed to tell me something important. You see, I, kept in touch with her, to monitor her recovery. We video-chatted once a month. That's how she knew my return."

Shiraishi gulped as she nodded, "I see," she responded. She felt jealous that he kept in touch with Kanade, but she also understood why he did. And she was also relieved that he did it as a form of responsibility towards his former patients.

"So I came to Grandma's grave first thing today. And then had dinner with Kanade because I've promised," he then added, "I actually planned to visit Shohoku tomorrow. I figured.."

Shiraishi looked up at him as he suddenly stopped speaking and that was how their gazes met.

"I figured you were having the night shift so, you would only be available tomorrow."

Both of their hearts started beating faster.

"Saejima-san told me to take the day off for Christmas, and Shinkai-sensei invited me to a dinner with him," Shiraishi said.

"I thought so. I guess we're even, then." Aizawa stated as he sat back. Shiraishi was going to ask him what it meant when he suddenly pulled something out of his pocket.

"I was going to give it to you tomorrow. I mean, today, at Shohoku," Aizawa told her as he gave her a small jewelry box.

Shiraishi gasped and asked, "What is it?"

"Christmas present," Aizawa shrugged, "or a souvenir, whatever you want to call it. The shop employee chose that."

Shiraishi opened the black velvet box and found a silver charm bracelet. She picked it up from the box and inspected the charms. There was the letter M, and then a small heart, and the letter K. Shiraishi looked up at Aizawa but he was avoiding her stare and opted to drink the tea. Shiraishi chuckled. She inspected more and found the maple leaf, the Japan flag, a helicopter, and a stethoscope. Shiraishi grinned wider. It was everything about them it was impossible to be the pick of a stranger. It was cheesy and not subtle at all. She could bet all her wealth that Aizawa must have felt so embarrassed right about now, fortunately he was always good at keeping a poker face.

"Thank you," she said softly as she smiled up at Aizawa, her eyes glassy.

"Aa," Aizawa responded without looking at her.

"Ah! I also have something for you," she exclaimed before she rose from the couch. Aizawa watched her run to her bedroom and emerged a minute later bringing along a thick envelope.

"Here," she said as she returned to her seat, "I was going to send this to you tomorrow, I mean today, since I have the day off. But you're here, so.."

Aizawa took the envelope from her without words and with his usual serious expression. He opened the envelope and found a stack of photographs. They were photos of people in Shohoku during events held while he was in Toronto. From the Christmas celebration the year he went away, to New Year, Fujikawa's wedding ceremony, Hiyama's engagement party, Tanabata festival, Saejima's baby shower, etc. There were also pictures of the doctors and nurses in Shohoku EMS doing whatever they were doing in the hospital: Natori who was still intimate with his phone, Yokomine and Yukimura smiled at the camera while having their lunch, Haitani who shyly posed for the camera beside Fujikawa who smiled brightly. And even pictures of his comrades, Hiyama, Fujikawa, Saejima, looking tipsy in Mary Jane's bar. Those pictures put a smile on his face.

There was also a card. He almost failed to open it since Shiraishi suddenly tried to snatch it from him, but he was faster, of course. After putting it further away from her and felt no more struggle from her, Aizawa read Shiraishi's neat handwriting.

"Dear Aizawa-sensei.

More than two years, or three Christmases, have passed since you leave for Toronto.

How are you doing? I am sure you're doing alright. We here in Shohoku, are also doing alright. As I've promised you before, we have grown stronger, and prepared ourselves well until your return so not to drag you down.

These are photographs I have taken in case you miss us. Though a part of me believe that you won't miss us. Because you're strong like that. 😊

I guess I'll see you again on the day of your return.

But until that day, can we keep in touch? Would it be okay if I send you e-mail sometime?

Sincerely,

Shiraishi Megumi"

Aizawa smiled after he read the last line. He folded the card and put it back into the envelope along with the stack of photographs. He glanced at Shiraishi who hid her face behind the couch cushion.

"Sure, send me e-mail whenever you feel like it," Aizawa said after awhile, Shiraishi peeked at him from behind the cushion.

"I have wanted to contact you, too, but knowing how busy EMS is, I have always refrained myself. I realized now it was a stupid move."

"You're wrong, though," Aizawa added, "I did miss you all, from time to time. Though sadly, the person I missed the most was nowhere in the pictures," he stated.

Shiraishi's brain processed this fast and went to overdrive when she realized that there was no single picture of her because she was the one who took the pictures. They stared at each other for a long time as a mutual realization came down to them.

Aizawa then reached out and pulled the cushion away from her, revealing Shiraishi's beautiful face in all her blushing glory. He then scooted closer, and closer. He held her arm and pulled her closer, and closer. He stared at her lips and she closed her eyes. He smiled and claimed the lips that he should've kissed sooner. But better late than never. And so, he, too, closed his eyes.

When Aizawa opened his eyes the following morning, Shiraishi's beautiful smile was the first thing he saw. It made him feel contented. He was happy. It made him smile wider than usual, and that smile was more than enough for Shiraishi to convince her that they would be alright. No matter how far, no matter how long they were apart. Shiraishi knew, they belonged with each other. No hesitations, no doubts **.**

 **(END)**

 **A/N:**

Hello, first time writing here in and first time writing in this fandom. I know it's a mess, but still I really want to share it with you guys to show my support for the Aizawa/Shiraishi pairing. And it's actually the fruit of my disappointment but also giddiness of the ending of season 3. I hope you guys like it. Thank you for reading. comments are very much appreciated. :)


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